I know I’m a week late but here goes.
Father’s Day.
A day that this year holds bittersweet memories. I haven’t been on Facebook much for quite some time, so many of you may not have realized that we lost my dad to cancer back in November. My dad was my rock. He walked with me through some of the toughest, darkest days over the last few years. He celebrated with me as I found my health and my joy again and found happiness.
He was ever mindful of the challenges that were ahead of us but was always supportive. Sometimes his support was in advice, sometimes in stories, and sometimes in just listening as I worked through the current struggle. There are days that I miss him so much the weight is almost unbearable and there are days that I just want to remember him. There are days that I want to tell him about the awesome thing one of the boys did or the way they are growing up to be young men. There are days I want to share with him all the crazy amazing things that his granddaughter is doing. All the ways that he is missing. I have focused so much on what memories we don’t have him in. I was reminded recently, in regards to my grief, did I want to focus on all that I was missing going forward or would I be grateful for the years we did have. Yes Braylee only had him in her life for 4 short years, but in that short time lots of memories were made. Yes the boys only had him for 12 and 14 years respectively but they have lots of memories and an example of caring for others that although wasn’t perfect, none of us are, was one of doing the best given the circumstances. Did I want to focus on the negative or carry on all the positive that he gave me?
- To handle constant pain with grace and humility.
- Strive to find the best in people.
- Listen to what people are saying even if it comes out in something other than words.
- Be willing to move outside of your comfort zone. You may find many interesting and fantastic things outside of the box that you have put yourself into.
- Be willing to find friendship in the least likely of places.
- Find something good in even the worst of circumstances.
- You can be taught by anyone, be open to that.
- Find your best friend in your spouse.
One of the things he gave me was an appreciation that it requires a community to raise kids, live in general, and that no man is an island. I was raised with lots of external, non-biological family influences in my life. I am so very thankful for the network that speaks into our family’s lives. In the last few years that has grown exponentially, and I am so very thankful for all the wonderful people that have stepped up and carried my kids and our family as a whole. Our world looks different than it did 5 years ago. Relationships have changed, people are gone. I’m proud of how far we’ve come even in the midst of the trials, adversity, and unknowns. I’m so very thankful, this June, for all the men who have stepped up to guide us. From biological family or just friends, there are too many to name and I would miss someone. So I’m just going to say thanks. Thanks for doing your best, even when it doesn’t feel like its enough. Thanks for continuing to be the best men you know how to be for both your own families but also for being willing to speak into our family.
